The loss of someone you care about can be one of life’s most stressful events. It is not easy to cope after someone dies, but coping with the loss is vital to your mental health. Don’t postpone, deny or run from the pain. Imagine you had a physical wound. You would give that your immediate attention. The same needs to be done for our emotional wounds. The best thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve. The only way out is through it. When people interfere with grief, they interfere with the body’s natural recovery.

There are many ways to deal with loss:

• Share your feelings with those close to you or with those who may understand what you are feeling and experiencing.
• Be gentle, forgiving and patient with yourself.
• Seek outside help when necessary.
• Take care of your health.
• Comfort others while being comforted.
• Spend time grieving and mourning your losses. It’s ok to show others how the death has affected you.  People need to see they are not alone with these feelings.
• Take time for self-nurturing. Do things that feel good to you.
• Use expressive therapies such as journaling, reading, meditation, making a scrap book, memory box, or creating a scholarship in the person’s name.
• Give yourself permission to feel rotten!!  Understand there may be an array of emotions going on such as confusion, pain, dismay, devastation and sometimes anger. These reactions are both normal and predictable.

Helping others grieve:

• Share the sorrow.
• Don’t offer false comfort. It doesn’t help the grieving person when you say “it was for the best”.
• Be patient. It can take a long time to recover from a loss. Make yourself available to talk.
• Offer practical help such as cooking, running errands or babysitting.
• Respond with sensitivity and consideration and never assume that one person has “more of a right” to grieve over someone else. Loss is loss and it’s sad and painful no matter how long you have known them or how well you have worked with them.

For more information on mourning and grieving the loss of someone you care about check out these websites and other online support:

www.Griefspeaks.com

www.griefnet.org

www.nmha.org